Monday, February 28, 2005

My future's so bright it burns ants.

Can I get confirmation from anyone on whether it does or does not hurt much if your foot gets run over by a car? I've always felt like it wouldn't really and I'm close to trying it.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Jeff Gannon, White House Slut

For those who despise reading about politics, just bear with me on this one: It's worth it. A couple months ago I was watching a press conference with Bush. Now Bush is not the brighest bulb in the drawer. When asked questions he is not prepared for, he usually blanks out like the stoned guy in algebra class. For instance, once a reporter asked if he had any "regrets" to which Bush froze up and eventually said "You know, I just -- I'm sure something will pop into my head here". Nothing ever did pop into his head. Nothing is in his head. That said, you shouldn't be suprised that Bush pays reporters to ask him easy questions. Take reporter Jeff Gannon, for instance. This guy was a no-name writer at two unheard of websites called GOPUSA and Talon News, yet he seemed to have an "all access" pass to the White House. Gannon seemed to get entry to the White House whenever he wanted, and he would always get picked by Bush during press conferences to ask questions like "Democrats are divorced from reality -how are you going to work with them, Mr. President?". Eventually, people got fed up with Gannon. His connections to the White House -including that he was being paid- began to surface in the blogosphere. Then suddenly the Holy Grail of anti-Bush blogging was discovered: Jeff Gannon's real name was James Guckert, and he was a military-themed, Washington DC area gay prostitute. Obviously, this was the end of Jeff Gannon, GOPUSA and Talon News. But the best part is that this Bush Press Mole got truly Whacked by the Bloggers. To them I say "Respek"- good whacking. To see shots from Gannon's now defunct porn/prostitution websites, including HotMilitaryStud.com, click here, here, here and here. Word. Get at me blog. Don't forget about this though.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Off Tha Earth featuring Flechette, Altitude and MC MLXXIX

Big up to Realistic Records for hosting the latest Botz trax. Listen to it here.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

We bot the big one.

This weekend was unruly. On Friday night the Botz were at it again, laying down tracks for a brand new Botz hit called "Off tha Earth". This song is the first song on our new album, Botzanova -coming out this spring. Featuring Altitude, Flechette and myself, this shit is going to cause major stir in the rap world. By now you are probably asking yourself: "Bot how can I listen to Off tha Earth?" Don't worry. We are working on it. The song is so hot it literally melted my keyboard. Check back in the next 24 hours. For now, listen to this hype shit.

Friday, February 18, 2005

What was Britney thinking?

Derek, please no more videos that automatically pop up. They are annoying.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Why I need a new alarm clock

The other day I had one those mornings where I glanced over at my "Realistic" brand early 80s clock radio with simulated wood and had no choice but to rip it from the wall and hurl it into the ground, exploding it instantly into about 53 pieces. This felt good except ever since I have used my cell-phone alarm to wake up. Now, using your cell-phone as an alarm clock requires that you leave it turned on, not on silent, all night. If you appreciate sleep, this can be a problem. Take last night, for instance. Last night a Breakpoints contributor, who shall remain anonymously Bot Broadus, called me about 4-6 times between midnight and 2:OO am. Here is the official transcript of the messages he left:

Message No. 1:
"Breakpoints, Motherfucker makes points, When I come through I be like a snake, when I annoint....to the Charmer, Motherfuckers know I be the DC Bomber, You can't get more calmer than Mo, I be like embalming fluid on ho's, making them smoke...my dick up their nose.......[UNINTELLIGIBLE]............."

Message No. 2:
".................[UNINTELLIGIBLE]............."

Message No. 3:
"......[UNINTELLIGIBLE].............[GRAPHIC].................."

Message No. 4:
"........I'm watching a midget play ping pong.....Fuck that shit, I will lay a fat chick tonight, that is my way, my dick is.....[UNINTELLIGIBLE].............[UNINTELLIGIBLE & GRAPHIC]..............[UNBLOGGABLE]........."

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

$21 Million

What a waste of fucking money those stupid orange curtains in Central Park are.

Jagger/Richards Memory Loss Watch Alert


This blog also reports anytime Mick Jagger or Keith Richards' memory loss is mentioned in the press. It seems the two Stones rockers have forgotten years of their lives, with Keith literally not recogizing ever haven't worked on certain albums. This is not because they are old, its because they are awesome. Anyways, here is a recent tid bit featured in a story about P-Diddy not finishing his autobiography:

"Combs is not the first musician who failed to meet the deadline for delivery of his life's story. Years ago, Mick Jagger received a seven-figure advance to write his memoirs. He eventually returned the money, saying he couldn't remember anything of significance."

Monday, February 14, 2005

Harvey aka Lincoln's secretary

I would like to thank Flechette for posting that incredible photo of our friend Harvey standing next to Abraham Lincoln. Harvey is in Africa right now. Does anyone have a recent photo of him and/or his email address? He is probably being raped by a baboon as we speak. But I suppose that is better than being Gay-braham Lincoln's personal man-secretary. How about them Lincoln logz? Did you know that Frank Lloyd Wright's son invented Lincoln Logs? Did you?

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Time travelling

Well, Here's a picture of Harvey with Abraham Lincoln:

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Like, what is this?

Oh my God. We are sooooooo drunk! We just met some guy called T-Bot at the Local 16 bar and he is T-Hot~ ;) Anyways, he brought us to his mansion where he has a Cascading Chocolate Fountain. Hmmmmmmm. Before we become his personal chocolate-covered strawberries, he said we *had* to write on his blog. So here it is. Ok Byeeee!
-Paris & Krystal

women

I happily logged on to this blog today to find out all the dumb shit that you assholes had written, and there was just one little fucking sorry thing about a sandstorm. I think we might need some women to spice this thing up. Tommy--a word of advice--go invite some little whores from "local 116" or "aroma" or some shit so we can cream all over them online. I'm outta here.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Sandstorm


I didn't trip the fire alarm
I didn't cause any harm
But Sandy and me were naughty
And oh shit here comes the Maitre d'
I must flee this dorm
I need cover. I need a sandstorm

Thursday, February 10, 2005

macca

I just spent so long registering for this horse sh#t. I do not have a job, nor do I have anything to do with my pathetic time. In fact, I practically had to beg Tommy to invite me onto this bullshit. For you ignorant fools, "Macca" is the cute British nickname for sir Paul McCartney--the biggest fraud in rock and roll history. I'm sure that John Lennon was screaming inside the gates of hell while Macca shook his ass like a frantic thanksgiving turkey with a bass guitar stapled to its wing. Otherwise, as Pete Bauer wisely pointed out, Tom Brady is the kind of guy you've been fighting against all your life..."why can't you be more like Tom Brady?"...and he once again proved, with not a "Little Help From His Friend" Macca, that the pricks always win. Now I've gotta go finish off this week's Us Weekly and a 32 of bud lite on the can.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

This really means a lot to you

I just want to sincerely thank the entire cast for this invitation. Now, you may find my participation sporadic, my writing dull and my punctuation egregious but I will continue to unfairly blame the DC public school system.
I should tell the rest of you (I've spoken with tommy privately about this already) that I intend to contribute mainly by posting my inventions and cartoons. I don't have a scanner, I don't have a computer and I don't draw particularly well. I'll see you in 6-8 months.
PS Amos' super bowl essay was brilliant.

I was watching Murder, She Wrote

So did Paul McCartney show some tits?
Im glad to see that our friends are now measured by their blog-ability. I thought it used to be by how often they would ride in the trunk driving back from Las Placetas.
Monty McBot

super blow

Bot Broaduss checking in - Philly correspondent, born and raised in Mt. Pleasant, DC, a child of Mayor for Life Murion Burry, and Coach "Joe" Gibbs. As such, I've experienced the breath-taking high that is Super Bowl victory, and I remember the feeling that accompanies a trip to the ultimate in civic joy. In 3rd grade, before the Skins played the Broncoes, we had an assembly at school - a pep rally type deal. 2 sisters had just moved from Colorado, and the principal introduced them and talked about how they were from a different state and were Broncoes fans. I distinctly remember our teachers leading us in booing the little girls. In 91 the city rode the bandwagon to Minneapolis, then me and some friends skipped school to ride the Metro to the Mall and watch the Hogs and the Posse and the Capitol Defense march on home.

So, like I said, I know victory, something I never fail to remind my good friends here in Philly. I came here expecting to find jaded, bitter, world-weary fans, the result of so many near misses (I think choke might be more appropriate). And, to confirm the rumor, yes many fans here are vile, ignorant, and scary. And fat. But not nearly all. The loud one's just overpower the rest. As the season wore on, a semblance of hope appeared, and I was able to differentiate the true fans - one's who support their team and city - from the bile spewers, who just have on a green jersey but actually are self loathing chumps.

Now, we all know how it ended, but its been interesting to observe the whole thing go down from a basically objective perspective. I've got 2 housemates who are my Philly equivalents (diehard Eagles, Sixers, Phillies fans) 0ne from Harveyland, VA, who's a Skins fan, and to make things interesting, a female Patriots fan who thinks Tom Brady has honey dipped pubes. So, emotions in here have run the gamut. I must confess, being immersed in a near title run (or, title walk, on that last drive) was kind of thrilling. DC hasn't seen anything like that since I was in 7th grade, so it really stirred up some long buried emotions. See, pro sports, for all its faults, brings out the best in a city in the way nothing else can. Let's face it, no matter how good the local philharmonic is, no one's gonna take to the streets after they hit that last note. So, was I rooting for the Eagles? My burgundy and gold blood wouldn't allow it. But I did appreciate what was going on in the city. The Saturday before the Super Bowl, the retarded man who bags my groceries was repeating, "E-A-G-L-E-S, Eagles!" the entire time I was in the store, probably 30 minutes straight. In many ways this kind of summed up the city the last couple weeks - a blind, childlike devotion to a bunch of millionaires who people thought would, or at least should, make things right in the city. Always in the air, always in your face. I was simultaneously disgusted, a tad bit inspired, and jealous as hell. It was hard, all this energy in the air, but it wasn't quite my energy, cuz the team wasn't mine, and it wasn't my air, cuz this isn't my city. So as the clock ticks downs, and it becomes apparent that the Eagles have succeeded in losing a very winnable game, I become a little gloomy. Mostly it was, again, a reflection of what was in the air. The folks around me were somber, bitter, and feeling slightly abandoned - a return to the Philly sporting culture I was expecting to find here. It made me sad, seeing my friends so despondent, and I know I would have been feeling the same way. So, to the Eagles fans, I'm sorry. The world is a cruel place. Some of us have Dan Snyder as the owner of our football team, so things could be a lot worse. And they will be, in 2005. Hail to the Redskins.

Monday, February 07, 2005

"Its just that I work with a bunch of monkeys"

Did anyone see this commercial during the Superbowl where the guy is the only human in an office full of monkeys? He is on the phone and he says "I apologize sir. I'll correct it myself. Its just that I work with a bunch of monkeys". Well its funny to me because I started this group blog and assumed that the other contributors would be able to handle the simple process of accepting the invitation, logging on, creating a profile, and contributing their thoughts with at least a slight appreciation for grammar. The results so far, like this fucking retarded post called "My images willnt internet", are truly, utterly pathetic. And imagine, these are the smart ones who were at least able to log on. I apologize. Its just that I work with a bunch of fucking monkeys.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

My images willnt internet

How does Flickr work? How can I get images on the web for other bloggers to blog at.
Any thoughts, T-Boz?
Cheers
M

Friday, February 04, 2005

Giving Birth to a blog

Honestly, I understand now how it feels to be a woman. This blog is like a baby with a giant-sized head that is lodged between my legs, screaming to come out. After hours of labor, though, I think it is finally here. We decided to call it Break Points after significant brainstorming. There was something magical about it. I am T-Bot, the administrator, or as altitude likes to call me, the Editor in Chief. Altitude is the newest member. He comes from a background in writing, having received a Masters from NYU. In fact, he just quit his job at a magazine to write for Break Points. So welcome on board, altitude! My background is more dynamic. I study international politics with a minor in mining. This is my old blog. I am quite tired today. Last night I had a party and it simply never ended. My last memory is holding onto the side of a moving car with some kind of snow board on my feet. I don't even think there was much snow on the ground either. Wow, imagine the friction! If anyone knows anything about the satanic symbols burned into my forehead, please email me.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

bench seating cues

this is altitude, I want to apologize for the smallish bench seating variations pictures cuase I didnt save em big and thought they would get big. Any interest please let me know and I will re post em bigger for good viewing. I find the kid in the roller boat worth a look as well as the diagrams of bench seating. Are bench seats only for making out? No! they allow six adults to ride in comfort, and here we sit around listening toadds about five adults seated comfortably, who cares? Who cares about anything? I dont.

IDGAFAA
that is the ticket

Bench Seating Variants

WHat happened to break points? I sort of was getting into it?

Here are some more variations on a theme of bench seating

can anyone direct me to new cars with the option?









bench seating













This is for something called a "jet boat" can someone explain, is this liek a bad ass bass boat, or a hovercraft or what, and I have been on many boats, is this seat desirable?

Bench seating

here they are !!!!!:


Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Welcome to Break Points

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Tonight I am here to present to you the greatest achievement that the World, perhaps the entire Galaxy, has ever seen. Allow me to introduce you to Break Points, the official blog of The Botz.

---Applause----

Break Points is a culmination of insight reaching as far back as the dawn of time and as far forward as the end of the future. Through a digital army of Botz stationed in the 2005 metropolises of Washington D.C., Philadelphia, New Haven and New York, Break Points will ruthlessly dominate the Blogosphere whilst spreading its inherently glorious message. Break Points will offer literature, photos, music and art that in lightyears will be considered more Divine than what is known today as God. Enjoy.

PS: The other Botz need to pass an apptitude test first. They cometh soon.